November 2011
1 post
6 tags
the freshosity of soup in a moleskine wrapper
The freshosity of soup can be expressed thus: f = t < 30 Therefore, if you are willing to accept this as an explaination for anything you are probably someone who aspires to publish lists. Here is the freshosity list: 1) fridge 2) clean knife 3) relative speed of chopping Likewise, you may well have a penchant for a Moleskine, for which I have provided a handy link. Make sure you jot...
September 2011
3 posts
10 tags
crumpet
Crumpets were invented in the 1920s when Robert H. Goddard accidentally dropped a sponge into a bowl of plain flour and milk that his wife was stirring in the kitchen. Being distracted by the wireless at the time, neither of the couple noticed the error at first; it was not until later that morning, when they found themselves breakfasting on Crumpets not Pancakes, that they realised their...
8 tags
le critique d'art
How we love a critique on lukeandsoup, as much as listening to an actor describing the intricacies of a role he did not create, or an Arts Festival programme describing one medium using the nomenclature of another, how we love it, lovely. Like unexpectedly using French, we like it because it’s exciting and edgy. So, onward to my first critique. I have to say it has been an internal ordeal and...
8 tags
history and soup
As you may remember previously I happened to mention that my formal culinary training was as a Theoretical Pastry Chef at a well known Danish University. Let me expand on those formative years so you can get the cut of my jib. My first real break came in England once I had been accepted onto a two year Pastry course at Caterham Catering College under the expert tutelage of Professor Peter...
July 2011
1 post
8 tags
zigga zig ah
Theorizing that one could waste time within his own lifetime, Dr. Sam Beckett stepped into the NBC accelerator and vanished. He awoke to find himself trapped in the past, facing mirror images that were another actor behind a clear sheet of plastic, and driven by viewer polls to change TV ratings for the better. His only guide on this journey is Al; a sexist from his own time, who appears in...
May 2011
1 post
whimsicalenlightenment asked: Thanks so much for the follow and soup
xoxo
xoxo
April 2011
1 post
9 tags
war and soup
Have you read War and Peace? Spoiler Alert: It’s boring. If you are worried about the impending End of the World, I agree, it is a troubling thought. You actually think about it more than you let on, and it’s only worrisome because you don’t want to be there when it actually happens. Well, like War and Peace, it will be a long, boring, strung out affair. Final yes, swift no. Soup will be...
March 2011
2 posts
27 tags
primordial soup
I absolutely adore skipping through the quiet twittens of Paris and passing the day relaxing outside a quaint cafe, sipping on an espresso or pressing a Yves Saint Laurent cigarette to my lips, lips that are trembling with the excitement and anticipation of soon receiving the freshest most buttery croissant across their threshold. The natives shrug their shoulders at my French. I don’t...
1 tag
[+]
you can relax, there is no meaning here. a respite in the deluge of affectations known to some as projects, to me this post.
November 2010
1 post
8 tags
Soup: The Fast Food Paradigm
Is Bespoke Fast-Food Soup a Dichotomy?
Can the fast food paradigm be successfully applied to the retail of soup for mass consumption, furthermore, can a model of flexible ingredient choice be integrated into the concept and thus can soups be generated ‘to order’ on a short time-scale? The uniqueness and difficulty of the question is twofold. Firstly, the incorporation of two apparently...
September 2010
1 post
6 tags
onion
this onion soup was great, that is, if you include the condiments and by condiments you mean beer and cheese on toast. in truth the soup was lackluster. however, the lesson was not lost: great condiments can turn a meal around. i made a burger yesterday and anatomically in a bottom up orientation it went thus: bun/mayo/lettuce/slice of ...
May 2010
1 post
7 tags
junior distractor
With the new Junior Apprentice in full swing one can easily be distracted from eating and/or soup. However, last night I thought it was time to tip away some left over soup which had been residing in my refrigerator for some time. Whilst washing it down the drain I noticed a strangely familiar smell. Who would have thought that Salami is flavoured with out-of-date roasted butternut squash and...
October 2009
1 post
14 tags
vegetable soup sans blender
When thinking of a title for this post it initially seemed quite hard to describe what this soup really entailed without using the super gross-out word ‘chunky’. I suppose its infinitely better than ‘rustic’ which, when used to describe food, couldn’t be any more stupid. I mean vague. I mean sickening.
So when I was thinking about it I had to Google “rustic soup” just to discover what complete...
August 2009
2 posts
17 tags
butterbean, cabbage and tomato
OK, so I didn’t find my photo on one of numerous hard drives but instead on a pen/drive/stick/USB/memory/USB/stick/drive/pen. The one that Rich put in the washing machine and it came out working fine so I wrote to Samsung to congratulate them on their manufacturing prowess in a (maybe not so) surreptitious attempt to solicit free promotional products; only to receive an automated reply of thanks...
a-ha-a-ha
oh yeah hello. i found my blog again. i had to look on rich’s website to find the address. it was either that or look at my own e-mail signature. what kind of a memorable word is ‘tumblr’ anyway? it’s not, it’s crap. you might have guessed that i haven’t being eating a lot of soup recently… well you’re absolutely wrong! no, you’re right....
May 2009
3 posts
12 tags
timeline
The above illustrates the viewing characteristics of this very page of internet in the temporal dimension.
The three main apices can be explained thus:
12:00 – People are excitably logging on for lunchtime inspiration. 14:00 – People are logging on in search of an explanation of why it all went wrong. 23:00 – Perverts.
16 tags
nondescript chinese soup
Martha:
It’s not as if I’m trying to become Mrs Soup or anything, I just happened to be in the mood for Chinese soup one day and happened to be in the vicinity to make that a possibility. Just because Luke’s around that means I’m not allowed to make soup anymore??? Ingredients: chili, onion, garlic (though I think a stock base like this isn’t very true to Chinese recipes),...
19 tags
pepper, parsnip, potato, parsley & paprika
As it happens peppers are far less interesting than the mighty broccoli. This is just another example of science fact. Science facts are the real facts. About two years ago a lot of people started using the word ‘factoid’ to mean trivial, interesting, amusing or something. I think this annoyance was caused by the mainstream media skewing its definition. Usage informs definition does it...
April 2009
2 posts
14 tags
seasoning re-fills
* posted by souper special guest martha *
Luke bought a few new packets of herbs and spices, and we really made a day out of sorting the hell out of them.
1. Luke fashioned a funnel out of A4 paper and a piece of sellotape 2. Green’s in Hove has really cheap seasoning. This packet of Paprika filled up three and a half Schwartz pots, no kidding. 3. Re-filled pots ready for use. Maybe you can...
12 tags
the fractal dimension of a broccoli is...
Broccoli soup is perhaps my favourite soup in the world ever. Not only is it super tasty and simple to make but Broccoli is my favourite vegetable which is also a quasi-self-similar fractal over a finite scale. No disrespect to the cauliflower however, and similarly the Romanesco broccoli should certainly command the utmost respect. Whilst recursively chopping my Broccoli into smaller and...
March 2009
1 post
onion with sage
Sage and Onion is classic innit? You know like the stuffing? Sage and Onion stuffing. This is the first time I’d even eaten onion soup let alone made it although I was assured it tasted pretty good; from a reliable source. The trick as you may already know is to cook the onions real slow, so they go all soft, sweet and mellow. This can take up to an hour. Also, mix it up (yeah, I said ‘mix...
February 2009
5 posts
roasted parsnip, carrot and coriander
What’s the reoccurring theme here? It’s Coriander. Not in this soup, it only occurs once, I mean in general, thus far. Apparently Coriander is an anxiolytic which apparently has a tranquilizing effect. Parsnips are ‘a bit like’ Carrots thus, under soup-like conditions, go together inextricably well. “Did you know that Western Carrots are primarily orange in color due to the Dutch battle for...
13 tags
Fahrenheit 221
Acrylonitrile Butadiene Styrene is a plastic with the rather disappointingly low melting point of 105 degrees Celsius. Yeah, I guess you’re thinking: “Why don’t you use a stainless steel hand-blender if you want to nonchalantly plunge one into boiling hot soup you doofus”. Well screw you; I don’t want one of your lame, overpriced stainless steel hand-blenders which match your ‘functional’...
roasted butternut squash and potato soup topped...
This is a super easy one, I give it a Luke difficulty rating of 4.78. Butternut squash are a real pain in the arse to peel. If you haven’t got someone real nice to do it for you the next best option is a sharp vegetable peeler; failing that, hack at it with a knife. Roast the squash, potato, and garlic in the oven adding oil, and the herbs and spices.
Ingredients: {Onion}, Stock, 1...
9 tags
explanation
So I guess you’re wondering why there is already such a shonky feel to this blog. Well, the secret is - I am not, repeat NOT, a professional soup chef. I actually just do this in my spare time. More mundanely my actual profession is a Theoretical Pastry Chef at a well known Danish University. I am not going to list each and every ingredient and method. I will however tell you the main...
9 tags
miso soup
I reckon this soup is pretty tricky. I would give it a Luke difficulty rating of 7.4/10. You may find you need a spiffing grocers like Taj down the road for this. I went way over the top with the coriander this time around, it’s hard not to when you’ve got a load of the stuff. Pak choi is the best thing outta China since Fireworks. I thought miso was meant to be Japanese...